Black

Being Black in America is awkward. It's almost as if you're dancing on this tight rope, but it's not a normal tight rope, it's been oiled, you're recovering from an intense injury, there are two heathen children shaking the posts and laughing, and everyone comes expecting you to fall (and if you don't fall they get angry). Most of the time it's no fun.


So really I would like to just put a few things out in the open, but we all know what kind of bad things happen when Doom is honest over the internet. Do you guys remember when I blogged about an interview I had, and then the next day I realized I had a bunch of hits from the MSN search engine, and they all came from the same IP and the same search? Well, I was pretty honest in that post. I also didn't get that job.

Lesson = be careful what you say, allusions are your friends, double talk is a standard.


I got in trouble at my "job". Apparently some of my coworkers wanted me to be fired/banned from their site. Kind of bizarre right? Especially when you think, hey this is the first time I've ever heard anyone complain about the job I do, I guess it's their prerogative. Smiley smile, then tattle to the boss man.

America, the lovely!

What does this have to do with being Black? Everything.




Not that it's time, but people are forcing themselves upon society. Doom likes this approach, because if we wait until America is ready, then we'll be sitting around getting bed sores on our bottoms waiting for White America (inclusive of the rest) to slowly rid themselves of prejudices. Doom is proactive, somehow I've acquired an outlook that isn't exactly normal for this area.

Be careful, introspection and conceit ride on the same train.


I talked to someone and they concluded that part of my problem is that I expect more from my peers/society, and it's true. I expect them to see me as a human being, I expect them realize enlightenment, I expect that when I say hello to a White Woman / White Man that he/she isn't off fantasizing/convusling and breathing into a dirty paper bag because they can't get the image of me as some sort oversexualized beast with massive genitalia and a Kong sized libido out of their etch a sketch brain pad.

Being Black, is sort of responsibility, because you not only have to prove yourself unworthy of their templates, but you also carry the weight of your race and your own identity. So it's sort of like this multiple state of being. At one time, you are Black, a man, and *insert name*.


Back to the story. Should I believe that my boss stutters when they talk to all of the other employees? Or can I accept that it comes with the territory of this intimidating man suit. And that's enough of that because we don't want Doom getting in trouble. Sucks that people lie about you and it sucks that people can't accept that you're probably more intelligent than they'll ever be, regardless of how much money you make or what job you've taken. Respect should be dealth with on a case by case basis, unaffected by your social status ie, the car you've got, the job you have, and the apparent amount of money.


This is Doom saying, job, I hate you!




Obama.
Great, an amazing case of someone grabbing themselves and the rest of our society by the jowels and forcing our eyes to look at ourselves in the rear view mirror and question stuff. Yes, stuff, because you can't really put a label on what he's challenging. At this point, it's more than just a Black thing. How much have we grown as a nation?


Will it be worth it if he wins and people refer to America as the country with a Nig#$% president? I don't know, but I'm going along for the ride and I hope that in the process we'll be able to see ourselves for what we really are.











PS
Thank you public school for the acknowleding my dimples and seeing my potential as a cute little black boy that you could reference in ammendments and at your dinner parties for reelection campaigns.

Animal Day

Chimpanzees 'hunt using spears'

Chimpanzees in Senegal have been observed making and using wooden spears to hunt other primates, according to a study in the journal Current Biology.

via BBC


New Zealand fishermen land massive squid

New Zealand fishermen may have caught the largest Colossal squid ever found -- weighing around 450kg (992 pounds) and with rings the size of tires.

via Reuters

I am a Jedi!

Psalm Fragments (Schnittke String Trio)

Tyrant God.
Cruel God.
Heartless God.

God who permits
the endless outrage we call
History.

Deaf God.
Blind God.
Idiot God.

(Scapegoat god. Finally
running out of accusaitions
we deny Your existance.)

--Denise Levertov










And this one too, because I got to read some poetry today and I enjoyed myself. I even wrote, well tried to write. I'm not sure if it's anything yet, but I declared that I don't believe in science. I thought it was fun.

I've got proof!

Maybe I need a new circle of friends (not that I had one to begin with, I'm more of square myself), I mean if I had friends maybe I wouldn't get so pissed off by these meaningless people that hide behind thought provoking puns and poop humor name tags. So of course this would have to be directed to another "DEFINITIVE PROOF THAT GOD DOES NOT EXIST" articles that usually get posted on the liberal social bookmarking websites (do conservatives even use computers?). This article is just about some little boy skeleton that once on display will WITHOUT A DOUBT DISPROVES INTELLIGENT DESIGN! Are the caps lock significance circuitry activating in your brains yet? The article is about a skeleton that's going on display in some museum over in Africa and the sheer terror that exists in the Evangelicals' hearts because this skeleton will ultimately prove their God does not exist, or so they say. I find this hilarious myself, first we've got religious zealots attacking doctors, now we'll have them raiding museums and stealing crucial pieces of historical evidence and sending it to God in unmarked crates and manila folders through the UPS.

from hardcore christian ... Honey! What's God's zip code?

article via cnn

I probably just need to get a few friends, and get out a bit more, but this really bothers me. I mean the general consensus is "Hey you Christian! Don't get preachy with me!" so I sort of figured that if I resolved not get to pushy, things would be kosher. (Pun! Score one for duality!)I don't know, maybe it is just me, but it seems counter intuitive to make it known that you dislike someone, and then follow them around screaming, "Hey! You know I don't like you and your kind!" People really are the same no matter where you go or what they claim to be. It kinda shows what kind of miserable life some people must live if they dedicate their lives and gather poo covered bits of corn kernel happiness from studying and trying to disprove the thing that they hate.



I hate brussel sprouts, so I want all of you to visit my new website that I soon hope will provide me with enough money to live my life hating bruessel sprouts and proclaiming their evil to the world until everyone hates brussel sprouts! Because that's what I want, a world with a bunch of me's, because I'm awesome!

www.ihatesbrusselspouts.com

The Danger Moments

Some days, some moments
shiver in extreme fragility.
A trembling brittleness
of oak and iron. Splinterings, glassy shatterings,
threaten.
Evaporations of granite.
These are the danger moments:

different from fear of what we do, have done,
may do. Differently from apprehension
of mortality, the closing cadence
of lived phrases, a continuum.

These are outside the pattern.

You've heard the way an infant and ancient sleepers
stop sometimes between
one breath and the next?
You know the terror
of watching them.
It's like that.

As if the world were a thought
God was thinking and then
not thinking. Divine attention
turned away. Will breath and thought
resume?
They do, for now.

--Denise Levertov

Blame is for God and small children.

--Louis Dega

Papillon